Come Back to Us
by emraldshade
Summary: After things take a turn for the worse in an alley and one of their brothers has been killed, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello embark on a journey to try to get their brother back. WARNING: Blood, gore, and swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone, emraldshade here. This is my first story I have ever created and I hope you enjoy it.

Summary: After things take a turn for the worse in an alley and one of their brothers has been killed, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello embark on a journey to try to get their brother back. WARNING: Blood, gore, and swearing.

Rating: T for swearing and violence/gore

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, only the story line I guess. BUT SOON I WILL MAKE IT MINE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

"RAPH! NO!"

Michelangelo screamed as he watched his brother's throat get slit right before him. The three remaining turtles watched in disbelief as they watched their brother fall to his knees, then the floor with a dull thud, the blood pooling around his slashed neck. Shredder smiled, congratulating himself on a job well-done before disappearing back into the shadows.

Raphael had fallen facing his brothers, his dead body being all they were able to see in the dark and barely lit alley. Mikey choked as he looked over the body of his older brother, his mean older brother with a temper but with a soft spot reserved just for him. Light green eyes had now become dull, but nonetheless there was a slight smile on Raph's face. Mikey fell back in fear as he realized that the blood -_Raph's blood_\- had painted his hands a crimson red. Leo and Donnie had both fallen to their knees, watching as their youngest brother, typically filled with joy and goofiness, broken over their loss. Mikey sobbed, burning tears falling out of his eyes and dripping down his cheeks as he prodded Raph.

"Hey bro, you can't be dead. Raph? This isn't funny. Cut the jokes." Mikey let out a broken chuckle that was silenced with a sob. "_I'm_ the one that makes the jokes Raph, you can't-…Raph _please_. Wake up please. _Raphie this is not okay!_ Do you see me laughing?!"

"We…we didn't make it in time…" Leo muttered in disbelief. His eyes cast downwards to his hands that had begun to shake. Hot tears brimmed his eyes, threatening to spill over onto the asphalt. _No. This isn't the time. I…I can't grieve yet._

The last words of Raphael played over in his head, and Leo felt his shell heat up, eventually a red haze settled over him as he remembered what Raph had said right before Shredder had slit his throat.

_"Don't worry about me when I'm gone, just look out for yourselves you idiots. Don't cry or mourn, just come back to me later. It _should_ be me."_

"…you idiot…why. _Why_ did you think it _had_ to be you?! Why didn't you let_ me _handle it?! HUH?! YOU SELFISH _ASSHOLE_!" Leo screamed into the night, the tears finally falling down his face as he felt anger towards himself for not getting there in time, anger towards Shredder for murdering his brother in cold blood, and anger at Raphael for being such an _idiot_. _Who the fuck says I can't grieve now? Raph's…DEAD._

The cries of Michelangelo weren't slowing, his baby blue eyes filled with complete and utter despair and sorrow. Donnie knelt next to him, rubbing Mikey's shell while Mikey continued to try to wake up Raph.

"Mikey…he's gone." Donnie looked at his younger brother the sadness in his dark eyes piercing Mikey, he was trying to remove him from Raph's unmoving body.

"You don't know that Donnie," Mikey ground out amid his sobs. "You didn't check for his pulse yet."

Donatello visibly paled at what Mikey was suggesting he should do. Donnie looked towards Leonardo with frightened eyes but Leo just looked away towards the ground.

"M-mikey there isn't _really_ an area on his n-n-neck to really…I can't do it." Donnie backed up as Michelangelo whipped his face towards him, relentless anger burning in his eyes. The look of Mikey's face alone made Donnie flinch, but then he began to yell.

"CHECK HIM DONNIE! CAN'T YOU SEE HE ISN'T BREATHING?! HE'S BLEEDING AND HE MIGHT STILL BE-!"

Mikey faltered as he looked back at Raph. Mikey's eyes trailed up his brother's bloodied plastron to his neck and he flinched. Raph's jugular, along with his esophagus, had been sliced open. There really was no way that he could possibly be alive. Mikey turned to the side and hurled. He didn't understand how Raph could contain that much blood.

"C'mon Mikey, we gotta get home. It's late and we need to…we need to let Splinter know that Raph is…" Leo held out his hand for Mikey to take. Mikey wiped the side of his mouth and took Leo's hand to haul him up.

"B-but _Leo_. Who's going to carry him back?" Mikey looked at Leo with his wide fearful baby blue eyes. _I've gotta carry him. They can't take it._ Leo looked at his brother and gave him a slight reassuring smile.

"Don't worry Mikey, you won't have to carry him. I'll do it." He visibly relaxed at his statement, his shoulders sagged and his gaze softened a little.

"Go head home Mikey, take Donnie with you. I'll catch up after." Mikey furrowed his brows under his mask, not trying to stop the small trail of tears coming out of his eyes.

"No Leo, I know that you're hurting just as much as the rest of us. We go together." Leo nodded slowly, secretly thankful, before walking towards his younger brother's limp body. Donnie opened the nearby manhole cover for Mikey, who silently slipped in. Leo picked up Raph's body and carried him on his back. Leo gagged when he felt his brother's broken neck tilt at an unnatural angle due to the slice in his throat but tried to ignore it. But how could he ignore the blood that was dripping down his right shoulder, coating his entire right side with Raph's blood.

Leo slipped into the sewers with Donnie right behind him but moved off to the side to allow Donatello to pass. Leo tried to make it nonchalant, but Donnie silently thanked him while understanding it was because he didn't want him to look at Raph during the trek home.

They moved swiftly and silently throughout the sewers but as their journey continued, Leo was having a difficult time carrying the burden of his younger brother's weight. The blood dripping down his right side constantly making him remember the night's events. _How did everything get so complicated so quickly? _Why_ did everything have to get so complicated? But most importantly…why did we have to get into a__nother__ fight?_

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Uhh, hope this is okay! I'll try to update weekly but just bear with me! Each chapter is probably only going to be around 1,000 words each so I know that it's short but I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks for reading and please don't forget to R&R!

\- emraldshade


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two is up and running! Thank you to Strife667 for being the first follower, favoriter (is that a word), and reviewer! I really appreciate feedback from anyone, especially constructive criticism and even suggestions! I hope this chapter isn't too disappointing for those of you that read this crap but you know- whatever. It's my story ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story...only the plot I guess.

Please don't forget to R&R!

* * *

"Raphael, you endangered us again with another one of your reckless 'slash and destroy' routines! When are you going to start learning the consequences of your actions? Huh? When one of us _dies_?"

Leo was done putting up with Raphaelʻs shit, and after a long night of patrolling Raph had gone off on his own once again to find some skulls to bash because there wasn't high movement of criminal activity that night. But when he didn't come back, the team had gone to look for him only to be ambushed by a horde of the advanced Foot Ninja. They had gotten their shells kicked but eventually pulled through, but not after Donnie had sprung his wrist and Mikey had dislocated his shoulder.

"You don't get tuh tell me nothin' _Leo_. I never asked you to come after me." Raph sneered. His green eyes glinted in the dark alley, making it seem like his eyes were glowing. Donnie and Mikey stood off to the side, nursing their injuries.

"Like dude, it's not that bad. Can we just go home now?" Mikey was getting tired of their bickering and lately, it had been getting worse and worse.

"No Mikey, not until we hear from Raph that he's s-!"

"_What_ Leo? That I'm _sorry_? 'Cause I sure as shell ain't _sorry_ to you. Maybe for Mikey and Donnie that they follow such an _incompetent_, _irresponsible_, and basically _STUPID_ leader for leading them straight into trouble!" With every accusing word, Raph took a step closer until his lime green eyes were two inches away from Leo's dark blue ones. Leo rolled his eyes.

"Wow Raph, real big words for a Neanderthal like you. How, in the _shell_ of it could this possibly be _my_ fault?! If you weren't so hot-headed then none of this would have happened!" With those words Raph turned and started to walk away towards the street.

"_FUCK_ Leo! Just get off my fuckin' shell alright?! Look at 'em! Mikey's fine, Donnie's fine, and this is definitely _NOT _on me!" Leo grabbed Raph's arm and spun him to look into his eyes.

"Bull…_shit_. You know what? I don't have time to argue with you about this. I'm taking them home. C'mon Donnie, Mikey, we're going back to the lair until this hot-head can get his head on straight." Mikey looked back apologetically towards Raph before turning to follow Leo and Donatello.

"Sorry Raph, catch ya later dude."

Raph was shaking, his anger and fury towards Leo rolling off of him in waves. He let out a deep growl as he attempted to flip Leo off with his middle finger sticking up.

"_YOU KNOW WHAT?! _FUCK_ YOU LEO! I'M OUTTA HERE!"_ Raph turned up towards a fire escape and shot into the night, racing across the rooftops, doing anything to get away from his brothers…from _Leo_.

* * *

He raced on the rooftops for _hours_, doing anything to vent his anger out. He bounced on the buildings, occasionally stabbing walls and punching them. His knuckles had begun to bleed, tiny surface scratches littered each knuckle.

_Stupid Leo! Stupid asshole! FUCK! I just don't get it! Why is it that he always blames _me_ for every fucking thing?!_ Raph slowed down to a jog, and eventually a walk. He paced across a rooftop with his hands on the side of his head.

_FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. NO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT'S MY FAULT!_ The image of Mikey's shoulder and Donnie's wrist both popped into his mind.

Raph smashed his eyes shut, _NO! If they hadn't- If LEO hadn't taken them to come find me then they wouldn't be injured! This isn't my fault! This isn't my fault! This isn't my fault!_ He ran past a water tower and stopped at the wall next to it before sliding down, sitting on the rooftop. He buried his face in his hands. _God, what's wrong with me? Of _course_ it's my fault. Leo's right. I am a hothead._ He chuckled to himself as he thought about his place on the team.

_I ain't nothin' special…Leo's the leader, Don's the smart-one, and Mikey's the goofball. But…what _am_ I? I'm…nothing. Dead weight. I have no purpose other than what? Getting loud and rowdy? Being mad about something that was _my _fault?_ Raph felt his throat close slightly and his face start to burn. He was just, so _angry_.

_Maybe…maybe the guys don't need me no more…I don't contribute anything- I don't have a role. I'm just…NOTHING._ Raph had begun to feel his breathing coming in shorter breaths and feel hot-tears prick his eyes, refusing to let them fall onto the gritty rooftop. _Fuckin' hell. I'm freakin' pathetic. _Raph had begun to accept the fact that he didn't have a role in the family, he was…

_Expendable. That's what I am. I'll show them._ Raph brushed the small tears that had begun to fall down his cheeks and stood up. He looked upon New York city- _his_ New York city and disappeared into the night.

* * *

"Leo?" Mikey wandered into the living room to find his older brother on the couch watching Space Heroes. He paused the show and turned towards Mikey.

"Hm? Oh. Hey Mikey, what's up?" Mikey shifted from foot to foot, looking down at his feet as he poked his shoulder brace.

"Um, I was just wondering if you knew when Raph would be back? Because it's been five hours and- "

"No. I don't know when he will be back and honestly? I really don't even care right now." Leo crossed his arms and turned back towards Space Heroes and unpaused it. Mikey stared at Leo in frustration, his brows lowering as he glared at Leo.

"LEO! Do you even know what time it is? It's freaking almost five in the morning and sunrise is at 5:25! Leo! HEY! Are you listening?!" Mikey was becoming desperate at this point, he just wanted to see something- _anything_ change on his brother's stone-cold face.

His breathing was becoming erratic as he began to panic. _Raph never stays out this late. He's- he's always home by now! What if something happened? Why won't Leo do _something_?_ Mikey choked a little.

"LEO IT WAS A STUPID LITTLE ARGUMENT! WE GOT HURT- SO WHAT? IT WASN'T RAPH'S FAULT! I JUST- !" His sentence broke off as tears began to make their way down his cheeks.

"_Please,_ Leo! I just want Raphie to come _home_. It's been too long. He's _never _out this late no matter how mad he gets. Just _please_. _PLEASE_ LEO!" Mikey ran around the couch to face his brother, who had been ignoring him. Leo wasn't budging. His eyes were ice cold and sent a shiver down Mikey's spine.

"If he _wanted_ to come home Mikey, he would have by now. Maybe we should just accept the fact that he doesn't want to come back." Each word was a blow to Mikey's heart. His breath hitched before he began to outwardly whimper before running towards his room.

"Leonardo my son,"

Leo stood up immediately, his eyes going wide as he turned off Space Heroes. Splinter stood in the doorway outside of the dojo. His brown eyes hard and calculating.

"Hai sensei."

"You will leave to find your brother." Leo opened his mouth to protest before clamping it shut after Splinter cut him off.

"_Immediately_."

"…Hai sensei…" Leo made a final bow towards his father before going to round up Mikey and Donnie.

* * *

I know this chapter is a little longer and I spaced everything out a little more. Sorry about that but it's just easier to type I guess? Idk. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll try to make another one and update as soon as I can because I'm already one chapter behind -_-"

Please R&R!

\- emraldshade


	3. Chapter 3

Uhhhh, I LIVE! Now we switch gears to Raphael again :))))

I hope the way I structure this isn't confusing but um, this is all flashbacks to before Raph died and um. Yeah. Also, this chapter is kinda depressing and some people might feel uncomfortable with reading it so I just wanted to warn you. Hopefully, it's not too heavy or cheesy for you guys but I always wanted to entertain certain ideas that I put in this chapter.

ALSO, thank you for the reviews for those of you that have reviewed- I really appreciate it. Hope this story will still be meeting your expectations and if not, well then let me know if you think that I could add some things in to make your experience better.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned the characters and story so we could get a Season 6 of TMNT from 2012 :(

Please R&R! Now into the story :)

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_They wouldn't miss me if I was gone. Shell, if I'm bein' nice to myself then __**maybe**__ Don and Mikey but Leo sure fuckin' wouldn't. I bet it would be fuckin' fantastic for him if I left. 'Yay, no more Raphael! No more arguments, no more anger, no more hot-headed turtle!'_ Raphael sneered at himself as he continued to race through the city. The sun was coming up soon but shell- why should he care? Not like it mattered, he wouldn't be returning home today or tomorrow.

Raph felt some lingering emotions that had been repressed for years finally begin to break the surface once more and he stopped running, coming to rest on another rooftop. Although the hot-headed turtle had always had a temper, he knew that it was just a coping mechanism for something that ran far deeper than he originally thought.

Raph sighed as he paused to lift his wraps around his wrists. His old scars still littered his wrists, healed on the outside, but his injury ran much deeper than just surface wounds. _Tch. They'd be disappointed and disgusted if they saw those._ _Fuckin' weak Raph. __**Real **__weak Raph. _

He had been feeling depressed for years. Depressed from being misunderstood, put down, and having a sickening realization that he would never be good enough to walk among the turtles he called brothers. They had a purpose. But Raph?

Raphael had no purpose. Once again, he slipped to the ground as his emotions began to boil. He remembered the first time that he had sliced his wrist open along with the feeling of the pressure of his anger leaving his body. It was agonizingly stimulating.

* * *

FLASHBACK – 8 Years ago (The turtles were 7)

* * *

"You'll never be as good as me Raph. Just know that, and you'll be able to improve yourself in other areas. But I am superior, which is why Splinter chose me as the leader." Leo smirked, his katana at Raph's throat. Hot tears burned behind Raph's eyes and he felt anger boil inside of himself…before it disappeared completely. Raph's eyes turned dull as the tears he was trying to hold back spilled from his eyes. Raph let a sigh out that he never knew he was holding in as his muscles went from tense, to relaxed. He lay there on the mat staring at Leo with an expressionless face with his tears running down his face dripping onto the mat. He didn't even realize they had fallen- he had become numb.

"Not…not good enough. Never will be." He muttered before brushing Leo's katana away and slowly rising to his feet. Raph watched as Leo's eyes widened as he saw the shift in his brother's behavior. Raph silently trudged out of the dojo and towards his room, not bothering to look towards his younger brothers' concerned eyes as he passed through the living room closer to his safe haven- his room. _Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough. NEVER GOOD ENOUGH_.

Raphael shut his door quietly before sitting on his bed. He twirled his sai in his hands before looking at his own reflection in the blade. What he saw staring at him disgusted him. _Pathetic. Completely and utterly pathetic ye sorry excuse of a turtle._ Anger boiled in his shell, turning his face hot before he let out a guttural yell and slammed his fist into the wall. He recoiled, holding a now sprained wrist.

Raph narrowed his eyes as he watched the blood from his knuckles slowly seep out and begin to drip on the floor with an odd fascination. _That felt…good._ That punch to the wall had released the pressure of his anger and that's when Raphael made the connection that what he needed was _pain_. It helped to take his focus off of his emotional state and refocus it on a more physical pain that could heal.

He walked towards one of his drawers and opened it to grab a first aid kit out. He wrapped his wrist silently before sitting on his bed once again. With his sprained wrist now secured, he used that hand to take away the wraps on his other arm before gripping his sai. Raph was captivated as he slowly drew his sai over his wrist, watching the blood start to leak out slowly from his cut. He was about to make another slice before-

"HEY RAPH!" Raphael jumped up from his bed and sheathed his sai. He put a layer of gauze on his wrist before wrapping it with his standard wraps. He got up and walked towards the door before poking his head out a fraction.

"Yeah?" He looked up only to meet the cool blue eyes of his older brother Leo. Raphael flinched slightly when he realized what his brother was here for.

"Listen- um, it wasn't cool of me to say what I said earlier today and I wanted to apologize." Leo rubbed the back of his neck and looked around the lair. Raph opened his mouth to say something but his voice died in his throat. _You'll never be as good as me Raph._ Anger swelled in his chest and he narrowed his eyes at Leo.

"I'm _fine_," he hissed, "I don't need an apology from you. Now get outta here. I don't have time for you _oh big brotha' o' mine_." Raph saw Leo's eyes narrow as he opened his mouth to retort against Raph. But he didn't give him time to say anything before he slammed the door in his face.

"OH WOW. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I FINALLY GO TO APOLOGIZE FOR GOING TOO FAR AND FOR BEING RUDE AND I GET A DOOR IN MY FACE. _REAL_ CLASSY YOU JERK!" Raph threw himself onto his bed and brought his sai out once again and unraveled his bandages. He felt more tears prick at his eyes as his face flushed before he slit his wrist again…and again…and again until his anger had died down and his blood was flowing freely down his arm.

* * *

PRESENT

* * *

Raph sighed once again as that old memory finally came to an end. _Maybe I should just go ahead and end everything…ain't got nothin' to live for. _An image of Mikey, Don, and Splinter emerged in his head and he chuckled to himself. _Nah. I love these guys, I couldn't do that._

Surprisingly, an image of Leo had also popped into his head. Leo, the source of Raph's self-doubt and anger. _No, I love him too. I was just always too angry to actually voice it. I focused on the negatives and what I hate about him rather than the good memories I made with him_. Raph's eyes snapped open as he realized what time it is.

_Jeez, I gotta get home. It's probably close to seven now since the sun wants to be a prick and be bright and nosy. _Raph stood up before heading towards the sewers, it took him until 1:00 pm before he finally reached the main area of the easiest entrance to the sewers that led him home. But just before he was able to jump down from the rooftop, he was tackled by a flying mass.

"OOF!" He felt the wind get knocked out of him as he was sent flying across the rooftop with the flying mass still on him. Raphael threw it off and stood up, preparing for a fight only to stop by the sound of a familiar voice.

"HEY HEY HEY WOAH! CHILL OUT BRO! COOL IT, IT'S MIKEY! IT'S MIKEY!" Sure enough, it was. Mikey was now sitting on the rooftop looking at Raph with his arms in the air and his open palms extended towards his brother. Soon after, Donatello and Leonardo joined him at his side.

"Oh." Raph stated plainly as he stared at his brothers. He sheathed his sai and stood up normally, rather than in a battle ready position. Raph's eyes looked from brother to brother before he meets Leo's eyes. Leo doesn't need to talk for Raphael to feel what he's saying. He can sense that Leo is upset, frustrated, and- maybe even _angry_ that he had to go find Raph.

Raphael looks down at the ground before walking over to his brothers. _Say something you idiot._

"I uh- I just wanted to say that I'm- " Raph starts. Leo's eyes narrow before he cuts him off.

"What Raph? That you're _sorry_? Because this time, sorry won't cut it." Raph's eyes widened slightly at Leo's sass towards him while Mikey and Donnie stand off to the side with a surprised look on their faces.

"Shell, I told them that maybe we should just let you go! Maybe you just didn't want to come back so _why should we go find you_. But NO. Splinter decided that it would be SWELL to go and find you to drag you back to _our_ home." Leo throws his arms up in frustration which causes Raphael to back up a bit.

"_Our_ home, Leo? Whaddya mean by that?" Mikey looks at Raph and watches as emotion after emotion flickers through his eyes. _Raphie..._ Mike's eyes snap towards Leo, watching him…analyzing him.

"Well what the shell am I supposed to say Raph?! You're never home, always on _patrol_ either by yourself or with Casey! It almost feels like you're avoiding us! How do you think it feels being the oldest and constantly hearing '_Hey Leo, when is Raph gonna get back?' 'Hey Leo, have you seen Raph?'_ and EVERY TIME I have to say to them, '_Sorry bro, he's gone out again' _and look at their disappointed faces when their older brother is NEVER around!" Leo's panting at this point, his face flushed and his eyes white. Raph's posture drops, his shoulders sag and he lowers his head.

"Gee Leo, I'm sorry- I never wanted- I just-…" But Raph stops when he hears Leo mutter some words. _Hurtful _words. They rip through Raphael's body and mind before finally coming up to stab him in the heart and his chest constricts. Suddenly, he finds it hard to breathe. Michelangelo's eyes are as wide as they can be and Donatello physically flinches, hurt in his eyes.

"What…what did you say Leo?" Raph says quietly. He clenches his hands at his sides as hot tears form in his green eyes. A lump forms in his throat as he hopes that he had just heard his brother wrong. It didn't look like it based on the look in Leo's eyes.

"I _said_, it's almost as though you **_HATE_** this family. That you want _nothing_ to do with us." Raph chokes as he tries to say something- _anything_ to prove his older brother wrong but the words were so harsh, so _unexpected_ that Raphael was stunned into silence.

"I-I…I _never_…Leo I _never_ hated t-this family." Raph looks up to meet Leo's blue eyes, but it was difficult to see it through his tears. His tears streamed freely down his face and while Raphael was embarrassed, he did nothing to stop him. The weight of guilt and realization pushed down on Raph, causing him to fall to his knees.

"Sure, you guys got on mah nerves at times b-but I would _never_…" He takes his sai out of their sheath and stabs them into the ground before bracing his body up with his hands. Mikey stood off to the side, _anger_ bubbling inside of him. Donatello continues to stare at the whole interaction in disbelief. _This is UNBELIEVEABLE! Questioning __**Raph's**__ loyalty of all people? He's done so much for this family by literally sacrificing his body whenever he was needed!_ Donnie opened his mouth to say something but was abruptly cut off.

"Leo…what the _fuck_ did you just say?" Leonardo and Donnie's heads snapped towards Michelangelo. It was the first time they had ever heard him _explicitly_ swear. Raph slowly looked up from the ground to meet his little brother's eyes. Those baby blue eyes, typically filled with joking and happiness, were now stone cold with a wave of silent anger that raged behind him.

"How can you say that? Raph has risked literally EVERY part of his body _multiple_ times over for this family when neither of us wanted to or could. He's _always _been like that. Now, you go and _accuse_ him of HATING us of all things? What the actual HELL LEO?!" Michelangelo ran to Raph's side and picked up his sai, forcibly shoving them back into their place on his side. He then proceeded to lend Raph his hand to help him up.

Mikey's eyes bore into Raphael's and saw the anguish, horror, and despair present in his older brother's eyes among his tears. Donnie walked towards them, leaving Leo behind as he went to assist his younger and older brother.

"C'mon Raph, let's go home. I'll make you a pizza when we get there. It'll be your favorite, andouille sausage with onions!" Mikey flashed him a large smile, which in turn brightened Raph's mood slightly.

"A-alright Mikey…I just- I don't want ta get in yer guys' way." Raph flashed Mikey and Don a slight smile, but Mikey could see that Raphael was still emotionally disturbed by what Leo had said and the way that Raph said it…there was something off. Mikey shot a quick glare in Leo's direction before leading Raph and Donnie towards the sewer. Leo looked towards the sky, slight guilt in his eyes and mind before asking himself, _what have I done? Raph's crushed. Of _course_ he still loves us…well at least he'll still love Mikey and Donnie. But I don't think he'll ever forgive me…_ Leo sighed before racing after his brothers, his heart slightly aching.

They still had two blocks to go to get the closest to the lair and it was starting to get late. It was nearly 7 o'clock and the sun had finally set, leaving them in the dark alleyway. Mikey, Donnie, and Raph all trudged slowly towards the manhole cover and were about to slip in before they heard a voice.

"Hey, Raph, do you have a minute?" They all paused as they turned towards Leo, who was walking towards them slowly with his eyes downcast. Raph wanted to ignore him and slip into the sewers where he would be able to return to his room peacefully, but his gut told him not to. He had to hear what Leo had to say, whether he liked it or not.

"Why should he hear ANYTHING from _you_ Leo?" Mikey spat, his freckled face still and calm. His eye ridges pulled slightly downwards when Leonardo opened his mouth to speak again.

"I'm not asking _you_ to listen to me, Mikey. I need to talk to Raph. Go to the lair, we'll be down in a bit." Mikey shook his head furiously, "NO! If you're gonna say _anything_ then you can say it in front of all of us!"

Raph sighed and looked at Leo, "Well? What exactly do you have to say- ?"

A deep voice pulled out of the alleyway, a mocking laugh echoed as a figure stepped towards them.

"My arch nemesis' apprentices…the _turtles_." An armored leg made way into the light while white eyes gazed at them in the darkness. The Shredder walked into the light, towering over the four turtles.

"_Shredder_…" Leo hissed. He readied his katanas for an incoming fight, as did the rest of the turtles. Raph's shoulders became tense as he realized why his gut forced him to stay. He was supposed to protect his brothers from Shredder. Raphael narrowed his eyes and clenched his sai harder, _I will protect them. No matter what. No matter the cost or what it takes. I am...expendable_.

* * *

I'm sorry that this chapter was kinda dark- I didn't really intend for it to be but I've been going through some things and writing rather than acting on things is way better for me. This chapter is more than double the length that I typically write but I REALLY wanted to keep writing so...sorry not sorry :)

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I'll try to update another one as soon as possible.

Once again, please R&R!

\- emraldshade


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